What really happens that makes people, otherwise friendly, to start hating each other with such intensity? And what should people do to moderate things? Are relationships more important, or are political biases masquerading as principles and values more important? Having been a part of it a few times, I have some thoughts around these questions, and I thought of putting them down and sharing with some folks I know and perhaps care about.
First lets see what happens – a “Right Wing” (called RW, but not really right winger in the classical sense) Hindu Nationalist pro – Modi person posts something that a secular / liberal person, or rather, one who believes he is one, finds highly objectionable. The number of occasion when the reverse happens are relatively few. Now once objection is raised, a complaint is lodged with the admin of the whatsapp, usually with a threat to quit the group. The admin, who is usually anxious to maintain the group integrity, goes to the offender and requests him to moderate. At times, this leads to behavior change if only temporarily. Other times, the damage is permanent and someone or the other leaves the group.
This is usually the cycle. I found some of the batchmates of one of my colleges too foul mouthed. Not because of their views, but because of the language they used – one of them, in reply to something I posted just said “you are scum”, I quit the group. I was willing to put up with political views, howsoever extreme, but not this kind of outright personal abuse. I, by the way, am a right winger myself, a strong supporter of Modi. On other occasions, I have caused people to quit one of my groups, though thankfully never permanently. I derive some solace from the fact that even those who went to the extent of quitting the group because of my views later acknowledged that I was never uncivil.
To me, it is always a source of distress when this kind of a “separation” happens. Sure enough, some of our views will be considered extreme by someone or the other and vice versa. But personal abuse, threats, demands to silence, that is something I never am able to come to terms with. However, like with everything else, I did endeavor to understand why this happens, and here is what I think goes on:
With me, things on whatsapp group have always gone out of control only on one issue – the nature of Islam. There is something about this matter that some people, instead of responding to a comment with a counter – logic, as they usually do in other matters, simply go ballistic and try to silence me and some others with similar views. On every other matter, I can write the most provocative message, and it will at most elicit a frown and someone pointing out why I might be wrong. On Islam, the outrage of secular / liberals is palpable instantly. Of course, they claim they are upset by the tone of religious discrimination. But that does not explain extreme emotion. Why, for instance, won't they answer me with some logic? Why won't they first show me how exactly I advocated discrimination (I don't think I ever do), rather than demand belligerently that I be silenced.
There is an answer to this. I will lay that out before you. But to start with, I will tell you a very small episode from my life that is analogous to the overreaction of political partisans on whats-app, and illustrate the phenomenon more clearly.
I had a very good friend some 35 years back. In fact we are still connected and he is still a good friend though we have not met for decades. We were the sort of friends who pulled each others' legs with impunity, fully assured that we will remain friends even after taking liberties with each other. I am going to call this friend Markos. He is a Keralite Christian and a really good human being.
As it happens, Markos had a tendency which in my mind was a minor flaw. I did not at all care that he had it. But something interesting happened when I used it to pull his leg once.
Markos liked to pretend that he liked art movies. I thought he really did not enjoy the boring insipid fare that passed for high art. I thought he was just putting on an appearance of liking them, just to come across as a sophisticated guy who liked high art. So what happened when he saw one of these flop movies and came back and told me “I really liked the movie”. I was the wise guy and shot back, full of mischief: “You only think you liked the movie”. I would not do that with anyone but a close friend like Markos. And how do you think Markos reacted? He ceased to be a dear friend instantly! He absolutely went ballistic! He raved and ranted against me and started pointing out every flaw he noticed in me since we first met a few years previously.
I was taken aback of course. I protested that I was only having some fun at his expense. But he was not soothed. He continued his tirade for quite a while more. I did not react after this. After a few days, as it happens with youngsters, our friendship was back to nearly normal.
Moral of the story: If someone fools himself about something, and you point it out, he will go berserk on you.
Now back to Islam and whatsapp groups.
Those secularists who read these thoughts of mine will again burn with rage, but I am certain that they go ballistic because some RW guy reminded them that they are fooling themselves about the nature of Islam. Let us look at some beliefs they hold, or rather, fool themselves that they hold about Islam:
1. Islam is a religion of peace
2. Islam is just like any other religion
3. Muslims are just like other people, they should be seen as such
4. A demographic change has no implication for peace in society
5. Most Indian Muslims feel no loyalty for Pakistan
6. Most Indian Muslims feel loyalty to India
I can list several more.
It is immaterial here how true these assumptions are. Of course, I believe much in these assumptions is false. But that point is not central here. The central point is – deep down the secularists also believe these assumptions are mostly false. It is just that they won't admit it to themselves. In fact, they go to great lengths to continue to lie to themselves. They never examine the whole matter with any rigor. Because they are afraid of what might come out if they did.
Like Markos fooled himself that he liked the movie, they too fool themselves.
And then, when someone brings home to them about the self – deception, they go ballistic!
What is the way out of it then? And when I discuss this final part, I will even admit the possibility that my analysis might be faulty. But first let me proceed on the assumption that it isn't.
If indeed they admit the possibility that they might be engaging in self – deception, they owe it to everyone, including themselves, that they thoroughly study the subject. Islam is the number one political issue in the world. It literally takes thousands of lives every year. In extreme cases, such as when ISIS ruled parts of the world (supported, I might add, by a “mainstream” nation) women were raped and sold like cattle! If mankind is faced with something so horrifying, then every thinking person must have full knowledge of the roots of the problem. No one has to believe people like me, though I do think we spent a lot of time and energy studying it. But they must do it for their own sake if nothing else. It is not an innocuous matter like a boring art movie that can be left alone.
Assuming I am wrong (very unlikely IMO). Then they must answer why they react with such fury when the subject comes up. After all, no one ever sees this kind of fury when similar statements are made about Hindus for instance. In fact, they themselves engage in fairly offensive commentary about other religions, particularly Hinduism, and at most get a rebuttal from some RW guy. No one ever demands to silence them. Moreover, I would like to see at least one common assumption held by “anti – Muslim bigots” (which is how they describe anyone who puts question marks on Muslim behavior) proven false by them clinically and rigorously. Not responded with outrage, rhetoric and non – sequitur.
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